Fall Repeat - I Could Do It Better Myself! The Brand CEO

Or, a cautionary tale on the realities of the watch business.

In a former life, I was not in the watch business on any level whatsoever.  I bought the three US based watch magazines with the same fervor of an 8 year old buying baseball cards. Okay, that example might be out of date, but take your young child's current enthusiasm and insert it here ; )

When you admire a business or industry from afar, it is quite easy to see things through rose-colored glasses.  A good friend of mine dreamed of working for a European based professional cycling team.  He wanted to be the guy who was there at the finish line to assist the next Bernard Hinault off his bike at a stage finish of the Tour de France.  After three years of living in shitty hotels around the world, multiple cases of bronchitis, a failed marriage (former wife left him for a barista. To paraphrase her parting words: "at least he had a steady job and was home on weekends") and getting a good scare after getting jabbed by an IV bag's bloody, used needle, he realized that $50,000 a year was not worth it.  Reflecting back, he did have the ability to curse in French, Portuguese, Italian, Spanish, Dutch and one other language that he still can't identify, some scratched-up water bottles, and a signed jersey from a race winner in some minor,  Eastern European stage race that is no longer in existence.  His former wife earned an MBA and that former Barista now works for a well-respected NGO in micro finance, and has given a well-received TED Talk. The point being? Sometimes dreams are just that...

But let's get back to watches.  Despite the fact that I have no hesitation to call bullshit on certain situations, I suffer no delusions as to the difficulty of trying to run, or even work for a brand.  Today, let's start at the top and think about that rockstar - the CEO.

As has been mentioned before, the late 90s and early Oughts brought with them the era of the watch brand CEO as rock star. We all know that Biver was Blancpain, Omega then Hublot. We know that Frederique Constant were led by the Stas family, and that Thierry Stern is the latest (and perhaps last) Stern family member that will helm the ship as the gold medal winner in the genetic Olympics.  Now in most other industries, a CEO is, well, just not that sexy.  For whatever reason (and we all theorize about it) watch CEOs suddenly became not only relevant, but exciting!  And for better or worse, that has been steadily changing over the past few years.  And with it we have seen some pretty dramatic falls from some pretty lofty heights.

As armchair experts, we assume that as a CEO you live a pretty easy, idyllic life -

You roll into the office at around 10:00 AM, traipse through the production facility wishing all of the watchmakers well, grab the paper and plop your feet up on your desk as an espresso magically appears at your side.  You might then speak briefly with a sales manager hearing the wonderful results, then you saunter down to the executive dining room for lunch.  After lunch you're off to the airport where a private jet whisks you off to Italy for a photo-op with your favorite footballer who trades you a signed jersey for a (retail) $20,000 watch. You have a lovely early dinner with said star, team president and other hangers-on.  Then back to the private jet that whisks you home, where your stunning (not-so-age appropriate) partner is waiting for you wearing little more than a smile.  

This is, of course, all bullshit.

So I thought I would share with you a montage of of the Swiss and Japanese CEO's I have worked with and give you a sense of what their day was like:

4:15 - rudely awakened by a random call from an overseas sales manager who despite working for a company that manufactures, markets and sells wrist watches, has still not grasped the concept of international time zones.  But what can you do?  He's the nephew of one of your Board members.

6:00 - after stealing back 15 - 20 minutes of sleep, you have to get up, put on your track suit and take the dog out before you have another unfortunate incident that will require strong cleaning products to remedy if you don't get the puppy on the leash and out into the garden in the next 45, 44, 43 seconds!

6:20 - you made the mistake of bringing your cell phone with you on the walk which is now taking longer than usual as you have a call from the head of assembly, informing you that there was a leak in the lavatory that has now seeped down into the workshop.  You are now really regretting not selling the beautiful old workshop (great for photo opportunities and media "moments" but your watchmakers hate it) when you were approached by that smooth talking, but slightly dodgy real-estate agent who was shopping on the behalf of a very wealthy client hailing from a former Soviet Republic/Stan, who could not be named, but who you suspect belongs to a "fraternal" organization made up of other mysterious fellows that is not the Elks or the Masons.  

7:15 - chasing the kids to hurry up and get ready!  Your partner has already left for work, and today's your day to get the children to their three different schools which are, you guessed it, in three different villages.

8:20 - all three now safely deposited at their institutions of learning, you work the phone (via your hands-free set-up) as you drive on to the office.  No work has taken place in the workshop.  The plumber is, apparently, on vacation in Majorca, and you are now reaching out to a regional assembler to see if they can help you out in the short term by handling the assembly of a week's worth of production.

8:55 - you sprint past the main entry way where you clap eyes on the journalist who is there for an interview (set to start in five, no make that four minutes).  Brief pleasantries are exchanged, and you make your way to one of the conference rooms.  This is the same room that was used for the company yoga class last night, and is still a wee-bit "aromatic" this morning.  

9:05 - after apologizing for the absence of a coffee (nobody remembered to order more Nespressso pods), you begin the dog and pony show with the journalist who you realize is just slightly older than your eldest child, and might be finally old enough to vote in their first election this year.  Halfway through the interview/inquisition you are then treated to the sales pitch from said journalist who presents you with a rate card for today's interview.  If you want it to run beyond their instagram feed, it will cost X.  You make a mental note to cancel the lunch reservation and wrap this up as quickly as possible.  A "goodie bag" is assembled and passed over, and you move onto the next hurdle.

10:45 - Regional Assembler owner calls to inform you that they are "SLAMMED" with orders from (Regional Assembler begins to drop big, expensive names), but maybe you could meet at the most expensive restaurant near his shop to discuss the possibilities over lunch?

11:05 - after reviewing the plumbing situation, you call your brother-in-law who you remember did a 6 month apprenticeship back in the 80s, and might be able to help out.

11:50 - you remember that tomorrow is the board meeting. You put together a shopping list for food and beverages, and NESPRESSO PODS, Dammit!

12:30 - you arrive at the most expensive restaurant near the assembler's shop to find the assembler and someone who is very clearly not his wife sharing the remains of a not inexpensive bottle of champagne.  You do the mental math and realize that you probably never should have called him in the first place.  Your guests order half the menu, you order a cup of soup and still water, trying to figure out how to explain this to your accounting department.  In the end, apologies all around, but we're just too busy to help you.  "But we should do this again some time!"

2:43 - back at the workshop, your brother in law is on the scene, has somehow managed to field strip the leaky joint, run out to the local home improvement store, purchased the requisite replacement gaskets, re-assembled the connection, flushed the pipes and...
Good as new!  He even grabs a mop to help the cleaning crew clean up the mess!  You make a mental note, contact the purchasing office and - with your own money - buy him a new watch with your company discount.  Thank you's are exchanged and you make plans for him and his family to come over at the weekend.  All is right with the world... for now.

4:45 - after about a ZILLION calls from overseas agents, you then have your meeting with the marketing department who are very, very keen to make a regional F3 racer a brand ambassador.  You google the name and realize that said F3 racer is the godson of your head of marketing.  You keep your poker face, and suggest a follow-up meeting about it next week.

8:30 - You have nearly finished preparing your presentation for the board meeting tomorrow night, your partner calls to ask you if you could please pick up your middle child who missed the bus after her karate class.  So you gather up a few files, grab your shopping list for tomorrow, grab your laptop and head to your car, your daughter, and finally - home.

Yes, it's not all glamour ; )

Fall Repeat - The Sales / Brand Manager

This first saw the light of day in "The Blog Formerly Known As Tempus Fugit" back before the COVID 19 Pandemic reared its ugly head. With the latest shenanigans of the current Presidential administration continuing to baffle one and all, I don't see any resolution coming any time soon to the current not-so-great state of Watch Town. But at least this time around people aren't dying by the truckload due to misinformation.

I Could Do It Better Myself - The Sales/Brand Manager

5:30 AM - The alarm goes off, and tempting though it may be to hit the snooze, you pull yourself out of bed, jump on your Peleton and commit yourself to another 30 minutes of fitness.

6:50 AM - Showered, you make yourself presentable, grab a coffee and fire up your laptop for the weekly video conference with HQ.

8:15 AM - your daughter calls to remind you that as it is your weekend, she will be waiting for you outside of school following STEM club at 4:00 PM.  You make a note in your phone and set the alarm for 3:45 to remind yourself.

9:05 AM - safely settled at your desk, you scroll through the "Butcher's Bill" to try and figure out why you got blindsided a few hours ago when HQ informed you that:

1.  You need to close Retail Partner A.  No real detail given.

2.  You need to continue to extend credit to retail partner Z, even though they have not paid their invoices for the past 5 months, hit you with $26,333 of "co-op" advertising expenses, and requiring you to arrange a "junket" for the owner, the owner's current (not his wife) girlfriend, their assistant manager and 2 of their "loyal" customers to visit the HQ, factory, and maybe, you know if there's time, ski a little...

While reviewing all of the internal and external communication, you happen to glance up at a map of Los Angeles and it all becomes clear.  Retail Partner Z is opening up a new "fuck you" store literally across the hall from Retail Partner A, and demanding (literally) that your boss in Switzerland cut off Retail Partner A.  You then remember one of the pictures on the wall at HQ in New York with your boss, the girlfriend (not wife) of your boss, Retail Partner Z and half of the Los Angeles Lakers, courtside at the Staple's Center.

And of course, it just so happens that you are based in (or at least near) Los Angeles...

10:00 AM - Retail Partner A's store has opened.  You meet the owner and the two of you head out of the mall to a nearby restaurant so that you can speak in private.  Retail Partner A was the first store you ever opened an account for your first brand, some 20 years ago.  To his credit, Retail Partner A says he totally understands, he has seen this coming.  You personally really like Retail Partner A.  He and his wife have always sent your daughter both birthday and Christmas presents.  They insist on picking up the check even when they are your guests, they are old-school, shook Sinatra's hand type of retailers.  You excuse yourself for a few minutes, go out to the street and call your boss.  You explain that as a sign of good will, you need authorization to buy back the product.  Considering that most of it is still untouched (as it was just delivered 3 weeks ago), in the wrapping, you can simply walk it across the hallway to Retail Partner Z when they open.  Your boss is in agreement so long as 90% of the pieces are re-sellable.  You do the mental math (you looked at the safe count while you were speaking with Retailer A, and there are 13 pieces that have some wear, which tips it to 15% of the inventory.

You go back in, tell them exactly what your boss told you, but suggest that they take 6 of the slightly worn pieces that are the most likely to sell, and blow them out at 40% off, ensuring that the store can make 10% profit off of them, and be in compliance for the buy-back.

You suggest an early lunch (it is now 11:45) and once again, Retail Partner A grabs the check and will not let you pay.

12:50 PM - You walk Retail Partner A back to their store, and take a moment to make some calls before your next appointment - 175 feet across the mall's "hallway" to visit the soon to be opened 5th location of Retail Partner Z.

Retail Partner Z makes you wait a good 20 minutes in the construction area.  Once done, Retail Partner Z excuses himself, and Junior (second born son) takes over the meeting.  In a very short timeframe (less than a year) Junior has managed to piss off every brand rep he has come in contact with, and driven out more than half of the sales staff at their flagship store in Beverly Hills.  You have resigned yourself to simply nodding and smiling.  But Junior wants to flex his muscles and decides to get pissy with you anyway.  He demands to know why Retail Partner A still is carrying your brand.  You explain that they (Retail Partner Z) will have the exclusive rights the day that they open - which is still 45 days out.

2:00 PM - Junior says - "Hey, I'm hungry.  Buy me lunch and we can talk about our order".  So off you go to lunch #2.  Junior, although he drove to work, decides that a few bourbons would be a good idea on a hot Los Angeles afternoon.  You pay the check (a little over $200 with tip), and Junior says that next time you need to go somewhere nicer - "You guys need to stop being so cheap!".

You walk Junior back to his car, send your best regards to his dad, and hope like hell he does not get stopped by the cops.  3:00 PM is a bit early in the day, but he insisted.

You walk back through the mall to pick up the book your daughter asked you to order on Amazon, and as you're walking to the garage, you hear someone calling to you.  You turn to see your fried Julia, who is the district manager for Unobtainium, one of the hottest watch brands that is finally going into independent retail.  She has just finished meeting with Retail Partner A, and is happy with the outcome.  She thanks you for the referral, and comments on how much people must love them as flowers and two gourmet baskets arrived along with 2 bottles of champagne during her pitch.  You make plans to see each other at the Las Vegas shows in June, and hop in your car.  You make a mental note that you will not be able to submit the gift baskets and flowers on your expense account as they are not part of your approved expenses.

3:45 - The alarm on your iPhone goes off, just as you are rounding the corner to pick up your daughter.  Yes, you are early, but you savor the moment, listen to the last 10 minutes of your podcast, and think about the weekend.

Reheated Leftovers - I Could Do It Better Myself - The Sales/Brand Manager

This first came out several years ago, but still rings true ; )

I Could Do It Better Myself - The Sales/Brand Manager

5:30 AM - The alarm goes off, and tempting though it may be to hit the snooze, you pull yourself out of bed, jump on your Peleton and commit yourself to another 30 minutes of fitness.

6:50 AM - Showered, you make yourself presentable, grab a coffee and fire up your laptop for the weekly video conference with HQ.

8:15 AM - your daughter calls to remind you that as it is your weekend, she will be waiting for you outside of school following STEM club at 4:00 PM.  You make a note in your phone and set the alarm for 3:45 to remind yourself.

9:05 AM - safely settled at your desk, you scroll through the "Butcher's Bill" to try and figure out why you got blindsided a few hours ago when HQ informed you that:

1.  You need to close Retail Partner A.  No real detail given.

2.  You need to continue to extend credit to retail partner Z, even though they have not paid their invoices for the past 5 months, hit you with $26,333 of "co-op" advertising expenses, and requiring a "junket" for the owner, the owner's current (not his wife) girlfriend, their assistant manager and 2 of their "loyal" customers to visit the HQ, factory, and maybe, you know if there's time, ski a little...

While reviewing all of the internal and external communication, you happen to glance up at a map of Los Angeles and it all becomes clear.  Retail Partner Z is opening up a new "f - you" store literally across the hall from Retail Partner A, and demanding (literally) that your boss in Switzerland cut off Retail Partner A.  You then remember one of the pictures on the wall at HQ in New York with your boss, the girlfriend (not wife) of your boss, Retail Partner Z and half of the Los Angeles Lakers, courtside at the Staple's Center.

And of course, it just so happens that you are based in (or at least near) Los Angeles...

10:00 AM - Retail Partner A's store has opened.  You meet the owner and the two of you head out of the mall to a nearby restaurant so that you can speak in private.  Retail Partner A was the first store you ever opened an account for your first brand, some 20 years ago.  To his credit, Retail Partner A says he totally understands, he has seen this coming.  You personally really like Retail Partner A.  He and his wife have always sent your daughter both birthday and Christmas presents.  They insist on picking up the check even when they are your guests, they are old-school, shook Sinatra's hand type of retailers.  You excuse yourself for a few minutes, go out to the street and call your boss.  You explain that as a sign of good will, you need authorization to buy back the product.  Considering that most of it is still untouched (as it was just delivered 3 weeks ago), in the wrapping, you can simply walk it across the hallway to Retail Partner Z when they open.  Your boss is in agreement so long as 90% of the pieces are re-sellable.  You do the mental math (you looked at the safe count while you were speaking with Retailer A, and there are 13 pieces that have some wear, which tips it to 15% of the inventory.

You go back in, tell them exactly what your boss told you, but suggest that they take 6 of the slightly worn pieces that are the most likely to sell, and blow them out at 40% off, ensuring that the store can make 10% profit off of them, and be in compliance for the buy-back.

You suggest an early lunch (it is now 11:45) and once again, Retail Partner A grabs the check and will not let you pay.

12:50 PM - You walk Retail Partner A back to their store, and take a moment to make some calls before your next appointment - 175 feet across the mall's "hallway" to visit the soon to be opened 5th location of Retail Partner Z.

Retail Partner Z makes you wait a good 20 minutes in the construction area.  Once done, Retail Partner Z excuses himself, and Junior (second born son) takes over the meeting.  In a very short timeframe (less than a year) Junior has managed to piss off every brand rep he has come in contact with, and driven out more than half of the sales staff at their flagship store in Beverly Hills.  You have resigned yourself to simply nodding and smiling.  But Junior wants to flex his muscles and decides to get pissy with you anyway.  He demands to know why Retail Partner A still is carrying your brand.  You explain that they (Retail Partner Z) will have the exclusive rights the day that they open - which is still 45 days out.

2:00 PM - Junior says - "Hey, I'm hungry.  Buy me lunch and we can talk about our order".  So off you go to lunch #2.  Junior, although he drove to work, decides that a few bourbons would be a good idea on a hot Los Angeles afternoon.  You pay the check (a little over $200 with tip), and Junior says that next time you need to go somewhere nicer - "You guys need to stop being so cheap!".

You walk Junior back to his car, send your best regards to his dad, and hope like hell he does not get stopped by the cops.  3:00 PM is a bit early in the day, but he insisted.

You walk back through the mall to pick up the book your daughter asked you to order on Amazon, and as you're walking to the garage, you hear someone calling to you.  You turn to see your fried Julia, who is the district manager for Unobtainium, one of the hottest watch brands that is finally going into independent retail.  She has just finished meeting with Retail Partner A, and is happy with the outcome.  She thanks you for the referral, and comments on how much people must love them as flowers and two gourmet baskets arrived along with 2 bottles of champagne during her pitch.  You make plans to see each other at the Las Vegas shows in June, and hop in your car.  You make a mental note that you will not be able to submit the gift baskets and flowers on your expense account as they are not part of your approved expenses.

3:45 - The alarm on your iPhone goes off, just as you are rounding the corner to pick up your daughter.  Yes, you are early, but you savor the moment, listen to the last 10 minutes of your podcast, and think about the weekend. 

I Could Do It Better Myself - The Volunteer Media - An Update From Henki

I wrote this back when I still owned and operated Tempus Fugit. A fair bit has happened in that time. I opted out of a job with a brand, I sold Tempus Fugit to someone who handed it to someone else, and it now appears to not be publishing anything, I accepted the job I have now which is working for MassHire - we help people find jobs and train for new careers. It is very satisfying work albeit with very long hours. Owing to this the publication pace and nature of Henki Time is not as manic as others. With that said, I still feel I have something to say, and this piece is one that I think still rings true. So brand owners and brand managers - don't forget to support the volunteer press. 

Even when we say things that might cut a bit too close to the bone ; )

A much younger Henki teaching English in Villa do Conde Portugal in 1995. You might recognize the gentleman on the far right as the current Secretary General of the United Nations.

I Could Do It Better Myself - The Volunteer Media - An Update From Henki

Despite what some folks think, the majority of the press covering the watch business these days is of a voluntary nature.  This is largely the result of brands cutting advertising budgets, and people going back to former occupations, getting married, or finding better ways to earn a living and spend their free (and not so free) time.

So gentle reader, an inside look at a day in the life of Henki -

5:30 - Whether I like it or not, Tallulah (the older cat and Executive Publisher) is awake and waiting to be fed.  Sabrina (the younger cat and Editor in Chief) is waiting as well.  I head downstairs, turn up the heat in the house, and feed the cats.  I gulp down my morning tablets with a glass of water, have the first of several espressos and head back upstairs to the office.

5:45 - emails reviewed, and...
Not a sausage! 
Not only has watch advertising money dried up, watch brands are producing fewer and fewer models, and some have made their PR functions redundant.  News is scant, and unlike some of my colleagues in the Fourth and Fifth Estate, I prefer not to manufacture it.

6:15 - Go down and make a coffee for Wendy who is up and getting ready for work.

6:25 - I receive a follow-up email from the PR manager at Brand Y.  Y for "why won't you write a paid piece about us?", which I have explained a few times - I don't write advertorials.  I realize my unwillingness to do so is probably holding me back financially, but a man must have a code ; )

6:45 - Email in-box pings, and... 

Good news! I am the winner of the Nigerian National Lottery! Maybe I'll buy Watch Time from Ebner so I can finally have my own magazine!

7:15 - Finally I decide that as no news is forthcoming, I will write an editorial type piece. The Grey Market is always good for a few hundred words, and is showing no sign of slowing down.  Oh, wait! A PR staffer from Brand X has sent me a personal email with a story about a watch event featuring their brand, in Marblehead, Massachusetts (which I could literally have walked to from my house as it is the next town over), with several "Important and Respected" watch journalists who were flown in from New York and Europe a few days previous. The PR person feels that as I live nearby it would be great to have a story about this wonderful and glamorous event (lots of swag, 4 star meals, etc.) from a local perspective! I take a beat, decide to ignore the irritation that essentially - this person wants me to write a pr piece about an event that I wasn't even invited to even though my attendance would have cost Brand X $0... and I simply don't reply.

8:00 - Kiss Wendy and wish her a good day as she heads out the door.

8:35 - Hastily showered and dressed, lunch made, it's off to work.

8:55 - Parking lot duty.  Where I work we have very limited parking, and as such the students have been informed that they cannot park in the back lot.  Needless to say, it is a game of cat and mouse as several try to slip in anyway to avoid parking on the street.  This, in turn, prevents other staff members and board members (who have a meeting today) from parking.  While being the Director of Adult Education and Workforce Development has its perks, playing parking lot "sizzler" is not one of them ; )

9:05 - Call with my contact at the Dept. of Education office.  Nothing major, clarifications regarding programming made, and all seems under control.

9:35 - Call from reception, someone is interested in learning English, could I come down and speak with them?

10:30 - Class break time.  I try to speak with each of the four teachers, make sure everything is under control.

10:45 - Back to work on the grant application.  It is due on Friday, signatures are needed from the boss, and I still need to nail down the budget.

12:15 - Text message from brand manager in Switzerland.  Could I recommend a sales manager in Florida.  I file that under "not pressing" and dive back into "grant writing land".

12:30 - Lunch with the teaching team.  Brief ad hoc meeting to review a few items coming up.

13:45 - Call from former student of mine who is interviewing for a job. Would I act as a reference?

2:30 - 30 minute walk around the surrounding area to clear the head.

3:25 - Personal email pops on my iPhone, and I see that the watch from Brand X that three of the big outlets already wrote about 2 days ago is suddenly now a press release for "the rest of us".  I delete the message.

4:15 - draft of the grant application is finally ready to be reviewed by the boss.

4:45 - The phone rings just as I am leaving the office.  Meeting arranged for Wednesday morning to review our proposed adult education program with a new partner one town over.

5:15 - Stop at Trader Joe's for dinner items.

5:35 - Feed the cats dinner, scoop out the litter box, make a coffee and fire-up the laptop.

5:55 - Complete text edit for one of the brands that I "side-hustle" for, and respond to a customer query for another.  Yes, the watch in question is available, yes, it does cost that much, no there will be no discount!

6:17 - Phone rings, it's Japan (not the whole country, but one of the brands with whom I have a relationship) with an urgent request for a special event, could I help organize it?

7:25 - Dinner is nearly ready, and Wendy arrives home after a long day.

9:26  - Story lined up for tomorrow involving a review of a new brand's watch.

10:25 - After 15 minutes of futility, I give up trying to read any more of the book I've been working on since Christmas.  Turn out the lights and off to sleep.  Tomorrow is another exciting day in watch media!

The Brown Speedmaster

"What do you do when the thing you most wanted, so perfect, just comes?"

Samuel L Jackson as Charles Morritz in The Red Violin.

Courtesy of Phillips

Word has been slowly dripping out of Biel Bienne via intrepid investigating that the "Tropical" Speedmaster that fetched stupid amounts of money on auction, was in fact a compilation of mostly "down-home" components paired with various elements that were no more authentic to its alleged provenance than a Omega/Swatch "mission" watch is to the real Speedmaster.

Editors Note: Yes, I do own a Mission to Mars. No, I did not lose my mind and drive to New York numerous times, I did not bribe a boutique employee, I didn't spend 5 times the price on Ebay, etc. I simply waited until I found one at the Swatch boutique in Ottawa last October.

At the heart of this tragic comedy is the fact that at least three of the main characters in this farce were Omega employees, with one of them being the former head of heritage and director of the Omega museum. The best reporting you can read on this subject was written by Jose Pereztroika for his site, Perezcope.com

https://perezcope.com/2023/04/09/tropical-speedmaster-2915-1-a-record-breaking-omegaga-at-phillips/

Another, actually very fair and interesting analysis was provided by Rob Corder at WatchPro -

watchpro.com/corders-column-who-knew-what-in-the-speedygate-scandal/

Now while these articles are wonderful, well researched and insightful, they are also frustrating. They are frustrating because they underscore again the very unhealthy symbiotic relationship between the big brands and the top watch media outlets. In other words, what should have been the biggest story to break this year (or really in the last 3 years) the big dogs with the biggest media outlets offer crickets (and I don't mean alarm watches). Bravo to Jose Pereztroika, and Rob Corder. Watch Town needs much more of this type of media coverage!

So yes, the douchebaggery at Omega is a very depressing tale, and I would be less than surprised if Mr. Corder's theories were born out. But the bigger story here is the fear displayed by the rest of the watch media. Because when you live your professional life in fear, you will never be able to get out of the pockets of those you live in fear of, who only want you when they need you. It's nice to be kept, I suppose, but I wonder if these guys and gals ever wonder what life is like outside of a brand's pockets...

English Is A Curious Language - A Sociolinguistic Primer

Available today in Tokyo, Zurich, London,Milan, but curiously not anywhere in Kentucky!

Courtesy of Swatch / Omega

I realize we are talking about different languages and different cultures, but when I read the Omega/Swatch teaser I pictured a prohibition era moonshiner -

I am fairly certain this guy will not be replacing Cindy Crawford or George Clooney as a friend of the brand any time soon.

But with that said, given the hyperbolic nature of the first Mission Swatches, and the teaser for this new model, I was a bit underwhelmed when I saw it.

Etymological Spoiler Alert:

No, apparently Omega did not come up with the Moonshine name based on the prescribed base ingredient for the preferred aperitif of Ivy Leaguers - You can keep your Negronis, I'll have a snifter of the Jungle Juice, my good man!  

Not that I would really know anything about it, I went to a land grant university, but I digress.... 

The Moonshine in Omega's Moonshine Gold is not  the concoction of a tax averse denizen of Appalachia. It is the name given to the gold used to paint the hand. It is apparently composed of recycled gold that is sourced from a refinery within the Swatch Group. So props on the eco-friendly touch. The extent of this is limited to (or focused on, depending on your point of view) the main chronograph second hand. 

All naming conventions aside, as far as releases go, this one was a bit of a squib. While we are not as "chummy" as we once were, I have a lot of respect for Robert-Jan Broer's Speedy Tuesday programming, and I think that this would be not only a logical, but wildly popular next "mission" Omega/Swatch mash-up. It seems a bit of a missed opportunity. There was momentum, there was interest, but an EVEN MORE exclusionary (not exclusive) Mission Swatch just leaves an even more bitter taste in the mouths of the faithful, and no amount of Everclear is going to wash that out -

Courtesy of Wikipedia

Marking Time - About My Omegas

If you turned up for news on the latest Blancpain release, I'm afraid you've knocked on the wrong door ; )

Innovation and the "latest and greatest" is always intriguing. But with that said, I often find myself thinking back on what started my interest in watches, or as Robert-Jan at Fratello once said -

"What was the trigger?"

The first watch was this Omega. In truth, I had owned another automatic watch which I got at a pawn shop in Tachikawa, Japan in exchange for my quartz Tag Heuer and 4,000 Yen. But 1996 found Wendy and me living in Turku, Finland. And rooting around a weekly flea market I found a pair of truly neglected Omega wrist watches. The first was in such bad shape that the stall owner refused to let me buy it. The second he only did so reluctantly. Now whether he was really looking out for my "best interests" or he thought he might get more money from a more prosperous customer than an itinerant English teacher is a matter for another time. Long story short, negotiations went back and forth, and I bought it for the princely sum of the US equivalent of $23.00.

My first stop, the same day was to a jeweler in the downtown area who fitted it with a forrest green strap. Needless to say, this was an unusual choice, but my being not only foreign, but an American allowed me a certain amount of freedom to make odd choices. 

Now I wish I had taken a photo at the time. The dial was not merely patinated, it was pretty much ruined. The white/silver finish pretty completely missing in several spots. The second hand fell off twice. And thus began the long rehabilitation process. I took it in for a service. The watchmaker at the shop in Salo (next to the NOKIA center I taught two days a week at) took it in and 100 Finnish Markka later it didn't really seem to have made any difference. And things stayed that way for the next three years until we moved to San Francisco.

Once there, I discovered Geneva Watch Repair in the old Shreve Building. The owner / watchmaker took in my Omega, arranged for a redial (sacrilege to some, but the dial was completely shot), put in a NOS crystal and crown, new gaskets, a full service, and I was back in business!

The folks at Serregin's engraved the case back with 4 important years that marked:

1992 - moved to Japan and met Wendy

1995 - moved to Portugal 

1996 - moved to Finland

2000 - moved back to the US

And I happily wore it, but not as much as before as the watch bug had sunk its teeth deep into my limbic system and dozens of different watches flowed in and out of my possession. But the Omega 30 has remained a constant.

Enter the Seamaster CO-AXIAL

Whether I was ready to admit it to myself or not, I had one fairly strong (semi) regret in terms of watches that have been in my possession.

Back in 1992 I was what could be charitably called "situationally homeless". I was working at Kinko's (remember them?) and sofa-surfing. I had graduated from the University of Oregon and spent the following year and half trying to figure out what to do with my life. To say that things were getting "chancy" would be a gross understatement. I had sold virtually everything I owned, and was down to my Thomas McGuane collection of paperbacks, a handful of CDs, 1 pair of jeans, 3 shirts and a sweater (or 2). 

One Sunday I sat down at the coffee place I would frequent (a cup of coffee was $0.75 with free refills) and as I was leafing through the Sunday Oregonian, I came across two ads in the help wanted section -

TEACH ENGLISH IN JAPAN

Now for the record, I had ZERO teaching experience, and was vaguely acquainted with where Japan was in relation to the Great Northwest. But I did have the one requirement that was needed - an undergraduate degree (Thank you U of O!). I applied for the jobs more on a whim - my job search results up to that point had been mostly for naught. But I was about to be pleasantly surprised - both companies contacted me, I borrowed a suit and tie, drove the 4 hours to Seattle for the first interview, stopped in Portland for the second and 3 days later had a job offer! The only hitch was that I would have to be ready to leave in exactly 60 days. 

The next 50 days were spent working as many shifts and as much overtime as I could manage, I temped here and there and did everything short of selling my plasma to save enough money to pay for my flight and first month of living expenses. With 10 days to go, I found myself short by $65, with no real hopes of raising anything further. But I did have one more thing that had not been sold earlier.

Family heirlooms, at least in my father's family, tended to be discarded fairly willy-nilly. As it happens, I had inherited my Grandmother's Omega. It bears mentioning that this was probably a 28 mm quartz watch. Essentially, too small even by 1992 standards. I had never worn it, and truthfully it never occurred to me to do so. It simply sat in a sock in my dresser drawer. I was 23 and had to make a choice. Hang onto the watch and what seemed like a prolonged spell of itinerant living and minimum wage "copy-jocking", or let it go and roll the dice on a new life in a strange country where I did not have a friend and did not speak the language. 

Spoiler Alert - 

I sold the watch. It netted enough to pay for my air ticket, and I negotiated enough for a camera and 3 rolls of film in addition. The next Monday I took the train to Portland, went to the Japanese consulate to process my visa, and 3 days later I boarded a Northwest flight to Tokyo.

Japan changed my life. I met my wife, Wendy. I found my vocation, teaching. And from there I would go on to live in Portugal, Finland, England, and Scotland before returning to the US.

Nearly 25 years later, I got an email offering me the CO-AXIAL in trade (with cash) for a watch that I felt was not really for me and was trying to sell. And to be honest, I really wanted cash, and the Omega was not really on my radar. I opened the next email in my in-box, and it was a copy of an old letter from my Grandmother that one of our cousins had found. And it included a picture of her with me, her wearing the Omega I had sold so many years before, that had made it possible for me to really start my life. Sometimes fate whispers, but in this case it shouted. I accepted the offer for the Omega (with cash) and didn't look back. Sometimes you have accept that the universe, however flawed, tends to reveal itself as it is meant to be ; )

Enjoy your watches -

It's Been A Minute...

Ladies and gentleman, it is my sincere pleasure to introduce you the Henki Time - The Bulldog Edition

www.henkitime.com

As former regular readers will know, I handed the keys to Tempus Fugit to a new owner nearly a year ago. And while that may or may not have been the right decision for me, I respect the new owner/ owners efforts and wish them well.

With that said, I found that I was (more often than not) reading a lot of the same thing in virtually every outlet. And I had enough kind messages from both brands and readers that I thought it might be time to fly a new flag, and thus I welcome you to Henki Time - the Bulldog Edition.

What the hell is a bulldog edition?

For those of you unfamiliar, a bulldog edition harkens back to the old days of the newspaper business. A "bulldog edition" was an early (or even earliest) edition of the newspaper on a given morning. Large scale events would necessitate that newspaper publishers create whole entire editions to accommodate breaking news. Yes young people, there was a time before cable news and the internet...

So what are we covering? New releases, interviews, industry news. And we will be diving a bit beyond just watches, so we encourage you to check in from time to time.

So, don't call it a comeback ; )

I look forward to continuing the conversation!

Henki

North Shore, MA, USA

January 19, 2023 

The Importance of Respecting A Press Embargo - Or When Exclusive Really Means Exclusion

Per Wikipedia -

In journalism and public relations, a news embargo or press embargo is a request or requirement by a source that the information or news provided by that source not be published until a certain date or certain conditions have been met. They are often used by businesses making a product announcement, by medical journals, and by government officials announcing policy initiatives; the media is given advance knowledge of details being held secret so that reports can be prepared to coincide with the announcement date and yet still meet press time. 

Okay, so we've gotten that out of the way ; )

As the new lead of Tempus Fugit mentioned, despite spending mere tens of thousands of CHF to airlift several more "well-heeled" members of the press to "double-secret" previews, there is always one itchy individual who feels that an embargo is more like a "suggestion" rather than a requirement. And that, among other reasons, accounts for some of the shit-show that was Saturday's retail fiasco with the MoonSwatch.

Was it a calculated move to leak in advance of the other "swells" who enjoyed first class (and deferential) treatment from the white gloved hands of Swatch and Omega? Sure. Would I consider them victims? Of course not. Was something like this happening inevitable? 

Absolutely!

But I would rather light a candle than curse their collective darkness. Therefore I would prefer to focus on the people who truly got the fuzzy end of the lollipop on this one, the customers and the employees of the "Exclusive" Swatch Boutiques.

Now another unrequested bit of Henki lore -

Back in the mid 80s, a certain northern youth grew his hair out in a somewhat abortive mullet in the hopes of catching the eye of the young women in the vicinity who were fans of a band from Ireland. History will reflect that this Northern Youth, along with 3 of his buddies, piled into his 77 Oldsmobile Cutlass and waited all night outside of the Ticket Master location. Said ticket outlet was inconveniently located in the Woolworth's of the Midway Mall -

So after many hours of shuffling around in the February chill, not infrequent runs to the nearby gas station for cokes, and several bio breaks behind the Ponderosa Steak House dumpster, we were finally admitted into the inside of the mall and were able to purchase our tickets at 9:00 AM.

I was happy, and drove the 30 minutes home and slept the rest of that Saturday morning.

Unbeknownst to my friends and I, one of our teachers decided that the day after the concert would be the ideal time for him to give his final exam, because he would be taking his vacation a little early so that he and his family could have some extra time, and thus his exam was moved to the week after exam week. So three U2 tickets promptly changed hands for exactly face value  (Oberlin was not a hotspot for scalping), and the internet had yet to make a real debut. And I developed a certain antipathy for U2 and anything Bono adjacent.

And as I heard tales from my friends around the globe this past Saturday and Sunday, they shared similar tales of angst, irritation, and downright anger. And I thought, not unlike my high school teacher waiting until the week before to announce a schedule change for a final exam, maybe Swatch could have been a little better prepared for what would unfold.

And this is where I, and several of my former colleagues in the Fourth and Fifth Estate are likely to disagree. Was it an incredibly successful launch? YES! Did it break the internet (metaphorically, anyway)? Yes! Did it actually really cause a lot of frustration and leave a lot of people unhappy? Duh!

What the early jumper of the embargo did was effectively ensure that -

1. The Swatch Boutiques would get besieged by a LOT of unhappy people.

2. Potential customers would travel vast distances at great personal expense to get... well, Jack shit, and Jack had just left town.

3. A handful of outlets that had been used to getting spoon-fed all the best releases well in advance of the rest of the plebeians in the press corps would be coming back down to the level of, well, the rest of the press corps. Which in fact might prove to be useful, it's important sometimes to be reminded of where you came from ; )

A few final thoughts:

• Swatch dropped the ball in terms of  logistics on this one. There is no nice way to say it. Some "Exclusive" Swatch Boutiques were so exclusive that they might as well have been excluded, with fewer than 100 pieces allocated to them. 
• Secrecy is no excuse for making so few units in advance and not having a reasonable amount deployed. They say they were working on it for a year. That was ample time to get ready.  

Were they expecting the Keebler Elves to take a break from making cookies and come in and crank out MoonSwatches on the graveyard shift? It is clear that they wanted to make a big, messy splash just before Watches and Wonders (again - Duh!), and while they did make a splash, they also made a mess. And therefore, they will hopefully learn to communicate EVERYTHING first, not just the sexy bits. They should have let people know BEFOREHAND that it was not a limited edition, and that it would be available at a later date, at least for customers who were willing to wait. The last-minute scramble to explain this via Instagram posts did not really come out in official communication, and initially took on the hue of urban myth.

Let's be honest, that last bit would have made a HUGE difference. Imagine driving 9 hours, camping out all night, and just when you think it will all pay off... being told to take it on the heel and toe, no MoonSwatch for you Mr. and Ms. devoted fan.

Did Swatch inadvertently get damaged by the leak? Sure. Did they set the stage for this to happen? Sorry, but yes. And just as this Northern Youth learned back in the 80s, many of those disaffected Swatch fans "still haven't found what they're looking for".  

Sorry, too soon?

Let's hope that memories are short and loyal fans are forgiving. And in the meantime, I suggest we all try to think about something else. But for now, if the MoonSwatch decides to "walk away, walk away, walk", unlike monsieur Vox, I won't follow.

Further Thoughts on the Swatch X Omega MoonSwatch

A lot can happen in a day and a half. Two days ago, Revolution slipped up and momentarily posted the announcement of the Omega X Swatch MoonSwatch. It was quickly taken down, but nothing is faster than watch nerds on the internet, who screengrabbed the article and marketing photos and reposted it everywhere. The next day, in a release apparently coordinated with Omega and Swatch, Fratello officially made the announcement. Then the entire watch world was set aflame. (Apparently there was some soreness amongst the watch press about Fratello getting the exclusive to announce first, but I can't think of a more appropriate outlet than the originator of #speedytuesday, which has devoted more content to the Speedmaster than any other major site.) 

James already dove into the release a bit in an earlier post, but the basics are as follows. Omega and Swatch--both part of the larger Swatch Group--have come together to create an affordable iteration of the Speedmaster. The watch is dubbed the MoonSwatch (which is admittedly very clever), and will come in eleven iterations inspired by the sun, the moon, and the planets of our solar system (and Pluto). They feature the same classic design as their historic brethren, including the bombé lugs, asymmetrical case, and recessed pump pushers--even the dot over 90 for the diehard fanboys. The cases, however, are made with proprietary "bioceramic," a mix of two-thirds ceramic, one-third castor oil (which somehow merits the "bio" affix). The straps are Velcro, similar to those found on the Speedmaster Alaska Project model and the movement is a jeweled quartz mechanism which necessitates the rearrangement of the subdials. 

It was reported in the announcement that the MoonSwatch would only be available at select Swatch boutiques and there was no indication that they would be regular production models. As a result, in the day since the official announcement, a lot has happened. Swatch boutiques have been inundated with calls (some claiming, hopefully with hyperbole, that they've been picking up the phone every 7 seconds), with actual lines forming outside the storefronts. Perhaps not surprisingly, unscrupulous flippers have already listed the model for sale on eBay at more than a 10x markup. And there have been a lot of opinions. 

Then Swatch quietly confirmed (in multiple Instagram comment replies) that not only are the watches not limited, but they would be available online at a future date. While the flippers and people in line wipe the egg off their faces, we must ask: Why the wasn't it made clear that the MoonSwatch would be made widely available at a later date? 

Let's consider the goal of this watch, which is undoubtedly to entice two groups of people: those that would love a Speedmaster but can't afford one (or don't want to spend on one) and neophyte watch buyers. For the former, it offers a way to access a facsimile of an iconic watch; for the latter, it ideally serves as a gateway drug of sorts, leading to the eventual purpose of an Omega (Speedmaster or otherwise). It's a win-win for Omega and for Swatch. So why the chicanery? As ever, the answer to our questions is money: the surest way to create buzz and make something a runaway success is to create the illusion of scarcity.

This isn't the first time this has happened, nor will it be the last. In 2019, Hodinkee released the Seiko Alpinist SPB089. All the messaging from Hodinkee suggested that Hodinkee was the only place to get it. The reality, though, was that Hodinkee had an exclusive to sell the model first, and it would then be available directly from Seiko; while it was a limited edition, it was limited to the U.S. market, not to Hodinkee. Similarly, later that year, Grand Seiko released a U.S.-only Four Seasons collection, only to turn around and make them available worldwide. The effect is always the same: the watches sell out quickly, appear for resale at outrageous markups, and then leave those who had purchased them in earnest--with a desire to enjoy them--feeling they have something a little less special.

These aren't oversights or innocent miscommunications, and these brands don't have a lack of confidence in their product selling on their merits. On the contrary,  these are large companies intentionally manipulating the market to their advantage. They do it precisely because of their confidence in their product; the momentary ire of the watch community does not affect the bottom line. To be sure, the blustering over how the MoonSwatch was released has, from the start, been eclipsed by the excitement for the watches.

The excitement is deserved. From the perspective of someone who not only loves watches, but loves the watch community, this is only a good thing. The release of the MoonSwatch will bring more people into the community and allow those already here to own a Speedmaster where they may not have been able to before (Don't argue with me on that second point: the watch says "Speedmaster" right on the dial. It's a Speedmaster.) On top of that, the watches are cool. A ceramic watch modeled after an icon, offered in Eleven different case colors, each with a unique dial and matching strap, all for $260? There's something for literally everyone. 

Whether or not they will be learned, the release of the Swatch X Omega MoonSwatch has some lessons to offer. For brands: be more transparent in releasing a watch. For customers, especially the watch community: Don't buy a watch simply because it's a limited edition (or worse, because you think it is). For commentators (press and otherwise): clarify, get the full story, then react. 

While it's not clear when the MoonSwatch will be made more widely available, we know that it will, so we can all settled down. If you're feeling calm and like you can approach things rationally, both Omega and Swatch's sites have you covered. Omega has a page that tries to justify why it made an affordable copy of its best-selling watch and Swatch has a page bragging about how it made an affordable Speedmaster.