Talk Like A Watch Pro - The Big Comeback!

Okay, it's been a minute, but after putting on The HYPE a few months back, I am happy (and you are no-doubt relieved) to know that Watch Town still has the ability to generate its very own unique lexicon.

I will be providing a refresher, but first? Some new bon mots that will have you talking and feeling just like the big boys and girls in Watch Town -

"Deep South"

The direction retail prices go when your production exceeds your sales actuals by 500% or so. We all get these emails - "Last chance for huge savings!" A multitude of reasons are offered, but long story short? Someone over-spent their allowance and mom and dad aren't happy about it. As that other great commentator on the watch business (Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko) would remind us - 

"The key to the game is capital reserves. If you don't have enough, you can't piss in the tall weeds with the big dogs."

"Nickeled for a dime" i.e. someone sold you a nickel for a dime

It's an expensive proposition to participate in a watch show, particularly in NYC. Approximately $8,000 USD will get you enough space to place a tray full of watches on a "modest" sized table while half of humanity lazily strolls past your booth. This, of course, is great news for alternative shows...

"New investment"

Someone's buying, someone else is selling. No more, no less.

"Nobody likes to hear that their baby is ugly"
Translation?  When you are asked - "What do you think of our novelties?"  You are really being asked - "Could you please offer an affirmation that this watch is great?"

"I'mGonna'stan"
A fictional country that is more a place of the imagination than an actual reality. I'mGonna'stan is a magical place where everything will happen soon, like tomorrow, and tomorrow never arrives.  

"Pick Your Poison"
Translation - you're screwed either way, and I don't really care.

"My friend"
Translation - You fucking asshole.

"You're just like the Tin-Man"
Translation - You've got no heart.  Usually reserved for sales managers just before they are "freed up to pursue new professional opportunities".

"We don't cover brands like that"
Translation - Pay me, and then maybe we'll cover you.

"Our writers are very busy, but a sure way to promote your brand is through a sponsored post!"

See above.

"We're a small, independent brand and can't afford advertising"
Translation - My best friend's spouse works for another media outlet and we already pay them. We're not going to pay you now, or ever, but you should still make time to cover us because, you never know ; )

"We don't make any decisions regarding marketing, sales or advertising during (insert BaselWorld, SIHH, JCK, etc.), but shoot me an email in a few weeks and we can follow-up then."
Translation - Of course we make decisions at BaselWorld, SIHH, JCK, etc., we just have no desire to listen to, consider or entertain any proposal that you might be offering.  But! Here's a nice paper tote bag and an outlandishly heavy catalog (filled with poor spelling and grammatical errors)!  Thanks for stopping by!

Nobody Ever Texted A Mission Statement

So I recommend you find a more permanent communication device. I give you the Esterbrook Model J in Lotus Green. 

Pen people are slightly connected to watch people, but in truth they are a tribe unto themselves. Watches, by and large, come as they are. True, you can order a custom Sartory-Billard, or Holthinrichs watch, but by and large you buy what the brand has made. You might put your own twist on it with a different strap, but for the most part that's it.

For pen people, it's often a wee bit different. Some of it's about heft (i.e. how much it weighs, how dense it feels in your hand), for some it's about the flow of the ink from the nib, for others it's about how stiff or flexible the nib is. Others are solely focused on the name on the box that the pen came in. Pen people, like watch people, are often looking for that extra bit of validation.

I have been guilty of this, with a flock of Pelikan pens in various drawers and pen boxes. I had an opportunity to check out Esterbook's pens back in October and I took the Model J for a test drive.

It is available in two colors. And as you came to Henki Time for the words, and not the photos, I will borrow a better image from the folks at Esterbrook -

Courtesy of Esterbook

This is the Model J in Antique Rose. It was a close contest, but in the end I opted for the Lotus Green with a broad nib. Yes, to quote that other great commentator on watches and pens, Boz Skaggs, I put my money on the table and drove it off the lot.

Now should you ever encounter my handwriting, you will scratch your head, and wonder why I would bother even trying to use anything so elegant. Well, that is an answer in two parts:

Part One:

Just prior to my sixth birthday, I took an ill advised leap off of our neighbor's swing set. According to my mother, it was a multiple break "2 or 3 places!" Luckily, long-suffering family friend and neighborhood doctor, Dr. Mason, was on hand to splint me up in (according to my father) that day's copy of the New York Times. The accuracy of that last factoid remains lost to history, but after an overnight stay at Allen Memorial Hospital, and six weeks in plaster, I went off to first grade where they tried as best they could to get me to hold a pencil correctly, and produce anything that might vaguely pass as handwriting. What was not realized at the time was that there was nerve damage in the arm - and therefore the hand as well. About a year after leaving the U of O, I picked up a fountain pen and used it from time to time, nothing too serious. Almost as much an affectation as anything else. But I did notice that it forced me to be more patient when writing. Wendy gave me a Parker Sonnet for our first wedding anniversary. But by and large, I still mostly used ball points or roller balls.

Part Two:

In 2009 I took a rather nasty tumble off my Gitane Team Replica bike (it is worth noting that the only 2 cycling accidents I have had have been on blue French bicycles - my Peugeot in 1982, and the Gitane). I managed to drag my face along the tarmac for a good 25 feet. Two front teeth, literally the skin off my nose, a knee filled with gravel (of which the removal was excruciating), and two broken fingers later, I was back at work. And needless to say, holding a pen was also, excruciating. 

I started trying to get control of my hand, and its now semi-serviceable fingers. And I started writing exclusively with fountain pens as a type of physical therapy as it forced me to focus my actions and motions. And for the most part? I never looked back.

But back to my new Esterbrook -

It is safe to say, that not unlike watches, when it comes to pens you have plenty to choose from. Some of it well worth the money, some of it disappointing. The Esterbrook does not disappoint! I opted for a broad nib. The feel is forgiving without being flimsy. The ink flows evenly, and it requires little to no downward force. 

It is crafted of ebonite, and therefore has a wonderfully warm feeling in the hand. And it now has me looking at it's Antique Rose partner.

While it is not inexpensive, it is not outrageously priced at $295. Now while that would have been way out of my league as a freshly minted graduate with journalistic ambitions, it is certainly not too outlandish. It is the type of pen that just might inspire the next Charles Foster Kane (ideally the one before his fall from grace).

So for those of you out there working on a business plan, a mission statement or even a declaration of principles...

Get yourself a decent pen, and write like you give a damn!

Attn: PR Offices -

Consider just who you are sending a press release BEFORE you hit send.

So interesting to relate, a fairly large brand sent me a breathless press release regarding how honored they were to be displaying their wares at Worn and Wound's "Wind Up" event!
(I guess their check cleared)

and...

They felt quite confident that my readers would enjoy reading this news!

So I went ahead and sent them back a press release about one of their competitors.
It's been silent from them ever since, but I'm still not sure if they got it.

I'm Calling Bullshit!

You are trying to tell me that Hodinkee, A Blog to Watch and Worn and Wound are ALL more sought after and viewed than The Sartorialist?

I'm calling BULLSHIT!

The Gavox Aurora - Why I Bought it

When you write a watch blog, even one that caters to a small readership such as Tempus Fugit, you get to test drive a lot of watches. And when you stop worrying about satisfying advertisers and stroking egos, you get to be honest.  This past spring I got to review the Gavox Aurora and to say that it made an impression on me would be a great understatement.

As I have said more than once, I am not a person driven by gadgets or the latest technical whimsy. I suspect whatever thirst for knowledge of the horological minutia of micro mechanics I might have once had got beaten out of me during my time at DOXA listening to armchair blowhards wax on about their superior knowledge (yes, that is sarcasm) of the fine points of the ETA 2824-2, or other sublime topics.

So the question is, what made such an impression on me?  Simple Complexity.  Yes, the Gavox Aurora has some pretty cool and sophisticated functionality, but all of the functions can be controlled even by a brain as "un nimble" as my own. 

But the other thing I really liked about about the Aurora was that it didn't just roll on its back like a faithful puppy waiting for you to rub its tummy.  No, if you wanted to check out or use the functions, you actually had to engage your brain, and the watch, by way of the crown/central pusher.  It makes the entire experience a bit more personalized, a WHOLE LOT MORE interactive.  It makes a complicated watch fun, without being an exercise in "haute behavior".  

So yes, this watch made a big impression on me, and hence I found myself in New York, cash in hand, to pick up my own and visit with Mr. Happe.

To a large extent, a watch is a watch is a watch.  And maybe it is just where I am emotionally, spiritually and intellectually in this world of watch fanatics of which I am a  member, but I want more than the latest innovation.  I want something that registers on a human, an emotional scale.

Something that provides a warm and fuzzy feeling.  And that is what the Aurora provides me.

When you find that special watch, well it is a love affair of sorts that you indulge in form the beginning of the day, until the sun sets.

So as the kitchen calls and I go to rattle a few pans to make dinner, remember that watches should be fun, as well as functional. The two are not mutually exclusive! So now I've got mine, and I am a happy guy!

I hope you find yours, whatever it is, or whoever makes it.

That's all for now - enjoy your watches!