Talk Like A Watch Pro - The Big Comeback!

Okay, it's been a minute, but after putting on The HYPE a few months back, I am happy (and you are no-doubt relieved) to know that Watch Town still has the ability to generate its very own unique lexicon.

I will be providing a refresher, but first? Some new bon mots that will have you talking and feeling just like the big boys and girls in Watch Town -

"Deep South"

The direction retail prices go when your production exceeds your sales actuals by 500% or so. We all get these emails - "Last chance for huge savings!" A multitude of reasons are offered, but long story short? Someone over-spent their allowance and mom and dad aren't happy about it. As that other great commentator on the watch business (Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko) would remind us - 

"The key to the game is capital reserves. If you don't have enough, you can't piss in the tall weeds with the big dogs."

"Nickeled for a dime" i.e. someone sold you a nickel for a dime

It's an expensive proposition to participate in a watch show, particularly in NYC. Approximately $8,000 USD will get you enough space to place a tray full of watches on a "modest" sized table while half of humanity lazily strolls past your booth. This, of course, is great news for alternative shows...

"New investment"

Someone's buying, someone else is selling. No more, no less.

"Nobody likes to hear that their baby is ugly"
Translation?  When you are asked - "What do you think of our novelties?"  You are really being asked - "Could you please offer an affirmation that this watch is great?"

"I'mGonna'stan"
A fictional country that is more a place of the imagination than an actual reality. I'mGonna'stan is a magical place where everything will happen soon, like tomorrow, and tomorrow never arrives.  

"Pick Your Poison"
Translation - you're screwed either way, and I don't really care.

"My friend"
Translation - You fucking asshole.

"You're just like the Tin-Man"
Translation - You've got no heart.  Usually reserved for sales managers just before they are "freed up to pursue new professional opportunities".

"We don't cover brands like that"
Translation - Pay me, and then maybe we'll cover you.

"Our writers are very busy, but a sure way to promote your brand is through a sponsored post!"

See above.

"We're a small, independent brand and can't afford advertising"
Translation - My best friend's spouse works for another media outlet and we already pay them. We're not going to pay you now, or ever, but you should still make time to cover us because, you never know ; )

"We don't make any decisions regarding marketing, sales or advertising during (insert BaselWorld, SIHH, JCK, etc.), but shoot me an email in a few weeks and we can follow-up then."
Translation - Of course we make decisions at BaselWorld, SIHH, JCK, etc., we just have no desire to listen to, consider or entertain any proposal that you might be offering.  But! Here's a nice paper tote bag and an outlandishly heavy catalog (filled with poor spelling and grammatical errors)!  Thanks for stopping by!