Logan's Run - The WatchTown Edition

I will be very honest. I visit Monochrome, Fratello, Watch Pro, and yes even Hodinkee pretty much every day. And while it used to be to follow what my friends and colleagues in the Fourth and Fifth Estates of Watch Town were up to, lately more and more it's to read the tea leaves. And it has been interesting to see the shift of content and volume coming from Hodinkee. But more interesting is what appears to be a game of musical chairs.

Shamelessly borrowed from the world-wide infoweb

There is no denying that there was a steady departure of long-time (at least by blog/webzine standards) writers over the past year or so.  Cara Barrett, Jack Forster, Jon Bues, Cole Pennington, Jason Heaton, and Logan Baker. But the departures continued with Nick Marino also disappearing from the masthead. Of the new/newer crew Sarah Miller and Nora Taylor no longer appear on the masthead. Style Editor Malaika Crawford is now (at least insofar as the masthead goes) the only female writer.

In fairness, change is inevitable. But from a mighty staff of dozens, only 5 or 6 writers (editors) currently grace the masthead as of this post.

In the blog formerly known as Tempus Fugit, I commented more than regularly on what has grown into cartel of media outlets. I still stand by that assessment. More often than not, I will read about a new release in one of the big outlets and receive the "B Team" press release later that day from the brand. But here's hoping that the watch media cartel made up of those big dogs will give way to more of a meritocracy. There is a lot of good writing on watches out there, hopefully brands with marketing and advertising budgets will start to support it, even if the title does not begin with an H, like that other shameless cartel member, Henki Time ; )

Wordy Rappinghood

What are words worth?
What are words worth? Words
Tom Tom Club - Wordy Rappinghood

So I thought it might be fun to look at two of the tag lines and catchphrases from two big brands. Now while this is not intended to be an exercise in sarcasm, some of these are just a bit odd.

Time To Reach Your Star - Zenith
I have absolutely no idea what that means. You can't really reach a star (at least the gaseous type that acts as the furnace of our solar system), because you will be incinerated - at least if science  is to be believed. In fairness there was that cult favorite Japanese cartoon series (Space Battleship Yamato) -

Shamelessly Borrowed From My Youth

But I am not even sure if they actually set-down on a star.  Now even if we discount the notion that they literally mean a "star" but rather are indirectly making reference to the brand name, it is still a bit janky.  

Now I realize that I say this again, and again, and again, but language is not always universal in translation, and "reach your star" makes just about zero linguistic sense.  Reach for your star?  Sure!  Hold on to your star?  Why not?  Reach your star?  It starts to remind me of what happened when the life clock ran out in Logan's Run and those who had timed out had to proceed to "Carousel" -

Shamelessly borrowed from the world-wide infoweb

Born to Dare - Tudor
Hand to God, I am still not sure I really understand that one either.  In visiting their site not so long ago, it seems to have morphed a bit.  Apparently, David Beckham was "Born for a purpose".  I leave you to ruminate over what that purpose is. No offense to Becks, the man could hit a free kick like nobody else. So, free kicks and tattoos aside, I feel quite confident that there's more, but Tudor's wordsmiths have left it somewhat vague. Because when you get down to it, depending on your spiritual views, weren't we all born for a purpose?

And good news sports fans, you can also "Dare to live the moment with David Beckham".  The big risk or "dare" here is the time you will spend reading about his winter jaunt with an Olympic snowboarder.

Lady Gaga apparently "dares to be vulnerable".  Fair enough.  I am more of a crying on the inside kind of guy, but I can relate.

Jay Chou, it would seem, "dares to discover".  

Beauden Barrett "dares to challenge himself".

And in truth, the irony in all of this is that Lady Gaga is putting it out there in very real ways with her Born This Way Foundation. David Beckham works with Malaria No More among others, as well as his work for UNICEF.  and I have no doubt the others have real, interesting, relatable things and accomplishments that would show even more "daring" than those that are contrived by the marketing office. 

What are words worth?
What are words worth? Words

Lyrics to Wordy Rappinghood courtesy of Tom Tom Club

Sometimes You're the Hammer...

Sometimes you're the nail.  

Word has found its way to Tempus Fugit HQ, that following an ill-advised public pissing match with Hayek the Younger, Rene Kamm has opted to fall on his sword and pursue other professional opportunities -


COURTESY OF REUTERS

So we shall see who the next contestant will be on the Price is Right, but for now MCH chairman Ulrich Fischer will ride the rocket.

Shamelessly borrowed from the world wide infoweb

 

Lather, Rinse, Repeat - Enter the Carousel

This originally ran back in 2015, and as we are now nearly 30 months down the line (think about that for a moment), it seems even more relevant now than it was when I first pushed it out there.

While I realize that a certain "fortunate son" is assuring us that sales are up, and the Swiss Federation numbers would, in theory, bolster that notion with their export reports of the past two months, the retail realities do not bear this notion out.  Not yet at least.

Brand managers continue to crow about their latest yacht, polo match, or celebrity "chum", so it seems that the lesson still has not sunk in.  Think I'm full of it?

The Grey Market and it's red-headed stepbrother the "Soft Grey" Market continue to offer brand new watches, in many instances directly supplied by the brands themselves, and in some instances even faster than the authorized retail stores can get them.

And with that wonderfully sychophantic press/influencer element out there that (for the right fee) will continue to sing a brand's praises, it is easy to presume that everything is just great!

While I can't think of anyone who does not genuinely want to see things rebound and improve (I mean, we all like money and steady employment, right?), the realities are still the same.

Retail has not returned to the same levels, advertising revenues are down for the majority of print and  digital outlets with some long time employees being let go and not replaced.  In other words, a lot of longtime industry professionals, retail lifers and media employees continue to find themselves surplus to requirements.  

So here we go again -

Brand Managers and CEOs, Enter the "Carousel"...

 This is the time of renewal.

With the slew of smart watches being now literally flung out at an ever increasingly rapid pace just prior to BaselWorld, the biggest question is about usefulness and functionality.  As I said previously, I do think that the solution that Frederique Constant, Alpina and Mondaine have come up with is far and away the best, most practical one available and I think it actually is functional.  

Having said that, a few of us got to thinking "outside the smart watch box", and theorized about what other useful smart watch apps could be created.  

I have often written and railed about the now all-too common practice of what I will refer to as the 3 year plan.  In essence, a CEO, brand manager or rep is hired and if they are lucky, they will last 3 years.  If they are successful they will probably be replaced because they will then be too expensive. If they are not successful they will be let go for obvious reasons.  And it is generally in the second or third year that these folks start getting really nervous, really anxious about their future.  This can be stressful, and your quality of life can really suffer as a result.  It is understandable.  So in an effort to ease the pain, this was a smart watch app that some of us felt was apt.  The Life Clock App.

It is based on the "Life Clock" popularized in Logan's Run.  For you millennials out there, Logan's Run was first a novel but more well known as the movie with Michael York. In this futuristic society, nobody has to work, everything is easy.  You are pretty much free to literally "follow your bliss". 

 

The main problem with this being that this level of indolence is not really sustainable as a "business model".  Therefore you have to sort of cull the herd to ensure that there will be enough to go around. Essentially, you have until you turn 30, then your "Life Clock" will light up letting you know that your time is up.  When that happens you are summoned to what is known as the Carousel where you and all of the other 30 year old folks in your group will be "surplussed" or more specifically, vaporized.

The belief being that you will then be "renewed".

Which brings us back to the tenuous and all-too-often brief tenures currently being experienced by brand manages and CEOs.  How can we take some of the guesswork out of it?  Well, every problem has a solution - and it seems every solution has an App!

So you download the Life Clock App on your smart watch and sync it with your phone.  Don't worry, it will support both iOS and Android platforms.  Then you start that new position as CEO and hit GO. Your Life Clock App is now synced to your current job and dutifully counting down the years, months, weeks and days until you will need to update your resume and look for that next position. Worried that you might not remember your work anniversary?  Don't be!  The Life Clock App has got you covered!  It will give a red glowing signal as you are approaching your 3 year anniversary.  Then a stern, all knowing voice (my vote would be James Earl Jones) will say:

Enter the Career Builder Site.  This is the time of renewal.

For everyone out there still searching, stay positive, and stay away from the Sandmen!

Brand Managers and CEOs, Re-enter the "Carousel"...

I originally put this out there this time last year, but with all of the heads bouncing around the streets of Switzerland, New York and Miami it seemed worth re-visiting.

Brand Managers and CEOs, Enter the "Carousel"...

This is the time of renewal.

With the slew of smart watches being now literally flung out at an ever increasingly rapid pace just prior to BaselWorld, the biggest question is about usefulness and functionality.  As I said previously, I do think that the solution that Frederique Constant, Alpina and Mondaine have come up with is far and away the best, most practical one available and I think it actually is functional.  

Having said that, a few of us got to thinking "outside the smart watch box", and theorized about what other useful smart watch apps could be created.  

I have often written and railed about the now all-too common practice of what I will refer to as the 3 year plan.  In essence, a CEO, brand manager or rep is hired and if they are lucky, they will last 3 years.  If they are successful they will probably be replaced because they will then be too expensive. If they are not successful they will be let go for obvious reasons.  And it is generally in the second or third year that these folks start getting really nervous, really anxious about their future.  This can be stressful, and your quality of life can really suffer as a result.  It is understandable.  So in an effort to ease the pain, this was a smart watch app that some of us felt was apt.  The Life Clock App.

It is based on the "Life Clock" popularized in Logan's Run.  For you millennials out there, Logan's Run was first a novel but more well known as the movie with Michael York. In this futuristic society, nobody has to work, everything is easy.  You are pretty much free to literally "follow your bliss". 

The main problem with this being that this level of indolence is not really sustainable as a "business model".  Therefore you have to sort of cull the herd to ensure that there will be enough to go around. Essentially, you have until you turn 30, then your "Life Clock" will light up letting you know that your time is up.  When that happens you are summoned to what is known as the Carousel where you and all of the other 30 year old folks in your group will be "surplussed" or more specifically, vaporized.

The belief being that you will then be "renewed". 

Which brings us back to the tenuous and all-too-often brief tenures currently being experienced by brand manages and CEOs.  How can we take some of the guesswork out of it?  Well, every problem has a solution - and it seems every solution has an App!

So you download the Life Clock App on your smart watch and sync it with your phone.  Don't worry, it will support both iOS and Android platforms.  Then you start that new position as CEO and hit GO. Your Life Clock App is now synced to your current job and dutifully counting down the years, months, weeks and days until you will need to update your resume and look for that next position. Worried that you might not remember your work anniversary?  Don't be!  The Life Clock App has got you covered!  It will give a red glowing signal as you are approaching your 3 year anniversary.  Then a stern, all knowing voice (my vote would be James Earl Jones) will say:

Enter the Career Builder Site.  This is the time of renewal.

For everyone out there still searching, stay positive, and stay away from the Sandmen!

Brand Managers and CEOs, Enter the "Carousel"...

 This is the time of renewal.

With the slew of smart watches being now literally flung out at an ever increasingly rapid pace just prior to BaselWorld, the biggest question is about usefulness and functionality.  As I said previously, I do think that the solution that Frederique Constant, Alpina and Mondaine have come up with is far and away the best, most practical one available and I think it actually is functional.  

Having said that, a few of us got to thinking "outside the smart watch box", and theorized about what other useful smart watch apps could be created.  

I have often written and railed about the now all-too common practice of what I will refer to as the 3 year plan.  In essence, a CEO, brand manager or rep is hired and if they are lucky, they will last 3 years.  If they are successful they will probably be replaced because they will then be too expensive. If they are not successful they will be let go for obvious reasons.  And it is generally in the second or third year that these folks start getting really nervous, really anxious about their future.  This can be stressful, and your quality of life can really suffer as a result.  It is understandable.  So in an effort to ease the pain, this was a smart watch app that some of us felt was apt.  The Life Clock App.

It is based on the "Life Clock" popularized in Logan's Run.  For you millennials out there, Logan's Run was first a novel but more well known as the movie with Michael York. In this futuristic society, nobody has to work, everything is easy.  You are pretty much free to literally "follow your bliss". 

The main problem with this being that this level of indolence is not really sustainable as a "business model".  Therefore you have to sort of cull the herd to ensure that there will be enough to go around. Essentially, you have until you turn 30, then your "Life Clock" will light up letting you know that your time is up.  When that happens you are summoned to what is known as the Carousel where you and all of the other 30 year old folks in your group will be "surplussed" or more specifically, vaporized.

The belief being that you will then be "renewed".

Which brings us back to the tenuous and all-too-often brief tenures currently being experienced by brand manages and CEOs.  How can we take some of the guesswork out of it?  Well, every problem has a solution - and it seems every solution has an App!

So you download the Life Clock App on your smart watch and sync it with your phone.  Don't worry, it will support both iOS and Android platforms.  Then you start that new position as CEO and hit GO. Your Life Clock App is now synced to your current job and dutifully counting down the years, months, weeks and days until you will need to update your resume and look for that next position. Worried that you might not remember your work anniversary?  Don't be!  The Life Clock App has got you covered!  It will give a red glowing signal as you are approaching your 3 year anniversary.  Then a stern, all knowing voice (my vote would be James Earl Jones) will say:

Enter the Career Builder Site.  This is the time of renewal.

For everyone out there still searching, stay positive, and stay away from the Sandmen!