Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Talk Like A Real Watch Pro!

As a public service, I thought I'd take a few minutes and share some of the vernacular that gets bandied around the watch world and particularly at BaselWorld, the SIHH and other venues.

"Nobody likes to hear that their baby is ugly."
Translation?  When you are asked - "What do you think of our novelties?"  You are really being asked - "Could you please offer an affirmation that this watch is great?"

A fictional country that is more a place of the imagination than an actual reality.  I'mGonna'stan is a magical place where everything will happen soon, like tomorrow, and tomorrow never arrives.  

"Pick Your Poison"
Translation - you're screwed either way, and I don't really care.

"My friend"
Translation - You fucking asshole.

"You're just like the Tin-Man"
Translation - You've got no heart.  Usually reserved for sales managers just before they are "freed up to pursue new professional opportunities".

"We don't cover brands like that"
Translation - Pay me, and then maybe we'll cover you.

"We're a small, independent brand and can't afford advertising"
Translation - My best friend's spouse works for another media outlet and we already pay them.  We're not going to pay you now, or ever, but you should still make time to cover us because, you never know ; )

"We don't make any decisions regarding marketing, sales or advertising during (insert BaselWorld, SIHH, JCK, etc.), but shoot me an email in a few weeks and we can follow-up then."
Translation - Of course we make decisions at BaselWorld, SIHH, JCK, etc., we just have no desire to listen to, consider or entertain any proposal that you might be offering.  But!  Here's a nice paper tote bag and an outlandishly heavy catalog (filled with poor spelling and grammatical errors)!  Thanks for stopping by!

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